declare @a table(workder_id int,name varchar(20),worker_mate_id int,worker_mate_name  varchar(20))
insert @a select 1,'张三',3,'李四' 
union all select 2,'王五',4,'赵六' 
union all select 3,'李四',1,'张三' 
union all select 4,'赵六',2,'王五' 
 '' th

------解决方案--------------------
--好委屈
select * from worker a where exists(select 0 from worker b where a.workder_id=b.worker_mate_id)
order by (case when workder_id>worker_mate_id then worker_mate_id else workder_id end)
----------------------------
workder_id  name       worker_mate_id worker_mate_name  
----------- ---------- -------------- ----------------  
1           张三         3              李四
3           李四         1              张三
4           赵六         2              王五
2           王五         4              赵六